What if You Had to Write Your Own Eulogy?

Good morning! What if you had to write your own eulogy? “What would you say?” Talk about a provocative title! Many of you probably read the topic description before service today and thought, “What the bleep?”

Well, we are going to have some fun in this fantasy-land discussion and, hopefully, generate some deep inner reflection. Or, at the very least, get you thinking — and that is always worth a few brownie points.

In most circles, when a person passes away, it is customary at a gathering honoring their life to request eulogies from family, friends, and associates.

For anyone who may not know exactly what a eulogy is, it is a soliloquy of sorts, delivered at a funeral service or life celebration, depending on cultural tradition. Often, a main eulogy is given by a family member or close friend, but others may also speak, offering their experiences and perceptions of the deceased. In that sense, there can be many eulogies for the same person.

So, with that out of the way, let us proceed down the path of this fantasy scenario. Let us turn things around.

What if instead of hearing other people’s opinions of you, you had to write your own eulogy? Now wouldn’t that be interesting? What would you say? Would it be a modest rendering of your life and accomplishments, or a boisterous novel about someone who “walked on water” and was adored by all?

Would it be written from a confident, self-assured perspective, or from a more reserved approach, perhaps reflecting a lower sense of self-worth? You probably never hear the phrase “taking yourself for granted” used this way — but remember, this is our fantasy, and we have just turned the world inside out.

Not as easy as it seemed at first, is it? Inner reflection without rationalization never is. But now is your chance. This process can be very revealing of your true personality, your sense of self-worth, and how you view yourself through the eyes of the person who knows you best — you.

By now, you may be wondering why on earth I am talking about this topic. To some, it may sound morbid. But I prefer to think of it as a final revelation — liberating and refreshing. Eulogies are normally written by others through their own filters, experiences, and moral compasses.

Imagine, after hearing all these perceptions of you, being given one last rebuttal — like in a courtroom — to agree with or challenge how you were interpreted. After all, we are engaging in a fantasy, so anything goes.

I once considered doing a mock eulogy for myself to offer pointers, but that would have been too easy. Instead, I challenge you to do this on your own time — perhaps with a spouse, family member, or trusted friend.

Each person should write independently, with no peeking. Then come together later and read them aloud. This is not for the faint-hearted. You may hear things that surprise you — hopefully in positive ways — but it requires courage. Done with someone you trust, it can be a deeply rewarding and even life-changing experience.

Now that we have stepped out of fantasy-land and back into reality, here are a few thoughts to consider when writing your own eulogy.

1. When thinking about how you have affected others, remember that the good you have done is not always immediately visible. You may never see the results, but that does not diminish their importance. Words and actions often surface years later, when someone is finally ready to receive them. Trying was enough — that alone reflects who you truly are.
2. Do not be afraid to give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back. Acknowledge the sacrifices you made for your family, your children, and others. This is not about bragging — it is about not taking yourself for granted. You were a gift to the world, and it is worth saying out loud.

I hope this has given you something to think about. Self-reflection is never easy, but it is always worthwhile.

I wish you well.