We are all hypocrites to a certain degree. How many of us proudly expound our beliefs in the UU Seven Principles, then act in the complete opposite way? It is one thing to talk a good show; it is another thing to actually integrate these principles into the way we act. Now, this may sound like a criticism—and in a way it is—but all of us are guilty, because we are human beings with human frailties.
Look at all the obstacles we have to overcome! Our society has changed dramatically in the last 40 years or so, and I must say, as a 76-year-old male, it has not changed for the better. Obviously, technology has led the parade in making our lives easier. In some cases this is true, but in many cases it is not.
I remember, not too long ago, that if you got a call from the boss in your office during the evening, it was either to tell you someone died or you got fired. Now, with email, cell phones, and text messaging, there is simply no “off switch.” The expression “nowhere to run, nowhere to hide” comes to mind. Are we really better off? You decide. Or do the pharmaceutical companies just get to sell more pills for stress-related illnesses?
In the area of ethics, morality, respect, and values, I fear we are going backwards as fast as an email on cable internet. Personally, throughout my life I have often felt like a “fish out of water.” I gravitated toward respecting others, being straightforward and trusting, and having what I considered a good set of values. But as I grew up, these noble attributes seemed to become “unfashionable” once you got a job and started living in the real world.
I remember the first time I got a management position. I was thrilled. Here was my chance to do some good, help my company, and develop my staff so they could reach their dreams. I was soon “reeducated” about the “way of the world.”
Before I ran my own business—which was about 20 years ago—I held executive positions in some of the largest firms in the country. I can truly say that while there were many good, hard-working people in these workforces, there also seemed to be a high percentage of sociopaths, especially in some of the higher positions. It was like they finally found their niche. Scary.
Not so fondly do I recall the “secret” strategy meetings, mostly centered on how we could maliciously manipulate unsuspecting staff, other companies, and the competition. Now, I did not fall off the turnip truck yesterday, but some of the things people did to “climb the ladder” were nothing short of reprehensible—and as we have seen in recent years, criminal.
So what is the result of all this exposure to degradation of the human psyche? It is not good. As a species, we adapt—and sadly, in some cases, we mimic the behavior of the environment we are in to survive, keep our jobs, climb that proverbial ladder, or pursue whatever we think will make us happy. But are we really happy?
Much of this behavior—much of which would directly violate our Seven Principles—slowly but surely ingrains itself in our psyche and our morals. Many of us “go along to get along,” and that often involves putting on a front: appearing to be a “good UU,” whatever that is, while scheming and plotting in ways that are definitely not in accordance with UU values. What people don’t realize is that the only person they are truly fooling is themselves.
To illustrate, let us take one of our principles: “A free and responsible search for truth and meaning.” Let us be honest—excuse the pun. How many of us are truly honest in our lives? How many of us put on the appearance of being loyal and faithful UUs devoted to the Seven Principles, then, as soon as we get behind a closed door, revert back to our “true nature”— a nature that in many cases has been branded on us by society and its declining values?
That is why I said we are all hypocrites to a degree, though some are worse than others. Don’t get me wrong: while I truly believe society is one of the main culprits in what I will call the “demoralization of the person,” we are not blameless by any stretch of the imagination.
We, as human beings—with “supposedly” superior brain power compared to other animals (or at least we think so)—have the ability to change and modify our behavior. Yes, it is hard, but it can be done.
How can this be accomplished? With so many people walking around with low self-esteem, jealousy, envy, and codependence tendencies, what hope is there that we won’t trigger their inborn fears into destructive—sometimes lethal—reactions or “acting out”? It can feel like too much to overcome.
All of us—sometimes purposely, usually innocently—have “pushed someone’s buttons” and then wondered what on earth just happened. It can feel like you have to be on guard with everything you do and say, even your mannerisms.
This is where we get back to our Seven Principles. I have heard people say they are too vague and open to interpretation. That view is usually shared by those who have been “called out,” so to speak, for violating the principles and “acting badly.” I’m not buying that for one second, and neither should you. It is a desperate attempt to rationalize behavior that they know in their hearts is wrong. It is a cop-out—plain and simple.
In fact, our principles are quite specific. Our first—“the inherent worth and dignity of each person”—contains no vagueness. It clearly states that every person has worth and is due human dignity. Where is the gray area? When we talk about people behind their backs, spread rumors, or attempt to discredit those we disagree with, are we respecting their worth and dignity? How many of us have done that in our lives, for whatever reason?
Our second principle—“Justice, equality, and compassion in human relations.” This one can be debated, but only so far. There may be different interpretations of justice or compassion, but isn’t justice fundamentally about fairness—giving everyone an even break regardless of religious beliefs, background, or differences? Sadly, as a society, we seem to be going backwards. And compassion? In my opinion, we have a long way to go. You’ve heard the saying, “If you do not love yourself, how can you possibly love another?” I believe the environment we are forced to live in has made compassion a rarity rather than the norm.
Our third principle—“Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations.” This is crystal clear. Where is the vagueness or wiggle room? Are we really doing that? Each of us has to dig deep into our hearts to answer. As one of our speakers, Patti Henry, once said: “Take a good hard look.” Do you have the courage?
Our fourth principle—often criticized as vague—“A free and responsible search for truth and meaning.” To me this one is simple: there is the truth, and there is something else. Some people may categorize truth in different levels, and perhaps that is where they claim the vagueness lies.
Our fifth principle—“The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and society at large.” A worthwhile goal—and in my opinion, we are not there yet in either venue. What do you think?
Our sixth principle—“The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all.” Compared to 100 years ago, we have come a long way. But compared to what we should be, the world, in my view, gets a failing grade. Adherence to this principle will determine whether we have a world 100 years from now—or a burning cinder that used to be called Earth.
Last but not least—“Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.” This principle speaks strongly to the environmental issues we face. It is amazing that with all our supposed intelligence, we cannot see that if we destroy the Earth’s environment, we destroy ourselves. Hmm… the most intelligent species?
So, what do we do? As depressing as all of this may sound, there is a way out—but it is not easy. I have heard many times that “UUs want to change the world.” I wonder: how can we do that if we cannot change ourselves? How do we influence society unless we act as role models? As I said before, it takes courage and sacrifice. My question to both you and to myself is: are we up to the task?
I hope so. Because then, instead of “talking the talk,” we will truly “walk the walk.”
Are you a “talker” or a “walker”? Take stock of yourself—that is the first step…