Low Self-Esteem

“The Journey to Nowhere”

Over my lifetime, I have been exposed to all types of people, each with their own way of looking at the world: various philosophies, some spiritual, some not; some with good intentions, and some without. I have also observed that in 99% of people who exhibit dysfunctional behavior, it can usually be traced back to a common condition: low self-esteem and low self-worth.

Everyone has periods of insecurity, especially when trying new things. That’s normal. But when a person has chronic low self-esteem, it can infiltrate all facets of their life and, for the most part, drive their behavior. It can—and often does—ruin a person’s life.

First, let’s define self-esteem. Self-esteem is essentially your opinion of yourself. How you feel about yourself. Are you happy with who you are? Do you feel on equal footing with others? Do you feel valued and capable of being loved? Are you confident, or do you constantly doubt your judgment and instincts?

Low self-esteem often develops in early childhood. It is up to parents to foster a supportive and encouraging environment that allows children to feel special as they grow into adulthood. Too often, children come from homes lacking that support and become adults burdened with low self-worth and insecurity.

Therapy can sometimes help, but sadly many people either do not seek help or remain in denial that a problem exists at all.

Low self-worth impacts a person’s ability to form healthy relationships. They often attract partners who abuse or exploit them. It also affects decision-making, as they lack the confidence to make choices and stand by them. Many act out defensively to hide their inability to give of themselves, delegate responsibility, or stop seeking constant approval.

Many people with low self-esteem are experts at putting on a front. People who appear confident, charismatic, and socially skilled may be hiding deep insecurities. Over time, that facade often collapses with painful consequences.

So how can low self-esteem be addressed before it becomes permanently embedded in a person’s psyche?

• First and foremost: admit the problem exists. This is not the time for rationalization—it is truth time.
• Examine your friendships closely. Friends who are negative, controlling, or who try to hold you back should be removed from your life. Seek authentic people who care enough to tell you the truth—even when it’s uncomfortable.
• Begin changing your own attitude. Insecurity is often visible in ways we don’t realize. Those who seek to exploit others seem to instinctively recognize vulnerability. You attract what you project. Confidence attracts healthier relationships.
• Regardless of your faith, positive affirmations can help reinforce self-worth. Repeatedly reminding yourself that you are valuable, deserving, and capable of giving and receiving love can gradually shift your mindset.

Changing is not easy—but it is possible. Believing in yourself and recognizing your worth can profoundly shape your future and happiness.

If you are a parent, ensure your children grow in an environment of encouragement and love. If you are an adult struggling with low self-esteem, seek help.

It could save your life.